Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
