well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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