I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
