i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
