And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
