whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
