Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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