i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
