3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
