You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
