She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
