Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
