worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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