do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish you could order shots online.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
