If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Randomize
