just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
