i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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