so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
