You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
look no pants
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
