K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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