I got chris browned last night
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
