I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
