6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I did not marry a roomba.
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