Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize