you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize