Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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