After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I love having hate sex.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize