Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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