took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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