Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
