fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
