this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
