We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
