I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
worst night to have a conscience
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
