Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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