how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
