i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
