This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Drake has all the answers
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
