we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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