hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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