...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
