we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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