Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
