Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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