You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I will die if light touches me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize