I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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