Nicole vs. Life
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
