Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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