6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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