dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All the doctor said was why
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
