At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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