Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
