I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
