Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
