Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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