I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
