I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Randomize
