Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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