I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize